And They Lived Happily Ever After. The End.
But wait! There's more...!
Salam. We've been spoon-fed with that line of finishing sentences at the end of all fairy tales. And last week I watched a documentary 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' on TV, where most Irish travelling girls have been planning their grand weddings at EIGHT years young! Like, one of the girls confessed how hard she'd been working and skipping social life, even staying away from cigarettes and beers just to have every penny saved for her big fat grand wedding. AND very heavy dress that weighed much more than she was. Expensive too, mind you. Nomads as they are, they would spend lavishly on their most celebrated and anticipated weddings. Like, their lives are deemed COMPLETE upon marriage.
In Malaysia, things might be slightly different, in the sense that girls don't go about saving every penny of their earnings JUST for their dream weddings. But, there are some who opt for personal loans to finance sort of remarkable weddings. So much for meeting up the society's standard. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against it. So long as it's within the ambit of one's capacities, who am I to disagree? And it's one's choice and preference, anyways.
But just a thought: What happens AFTER marriage? I mean, I never heard of a story where a girl has been planning her life after marriage since eight, now have you? Girls do plan their weddings ~ dress, theme, bride's maid and what not. But they don't probably even think of what happens after the weddings. They plan for the event. Not for the life. And guess what? Life begins after the weddings. Life for once does not end there.
But hey! The tagline said something else, right? "And They Lived Happily Ever After. The End..."
Then again, life is a process of endless learning and seeking knowledge. Fret not if we don't plan for life after marriage, coz living life is not always about planning. It's more to practicalities. We can always upgrade the trial and error process with some efforts to get useful info and knowledge from loads of relevant sources. Now that we've got the internet, the easier it gets. It's whether or not you want it.
That's why I really loved what Sister Yasmin Mogahed wrote about women's worth. That a woman's life does not end upon marriage. That a woman's life is not ONlY complete when a man asks her hand for marriage, which denotes that a woman's life won't be complete if no man actually asks her hand for marriage. That's not the case. But sadly, most women feel a complete failure if that completion never seems to happen. And when their marriage don't work out well, again they will feel a complete failure. Not as planned, they say, regardless of whether or not they have actually had any plan whatsoever.
It's complicated. Of course it is. Who said life is easy? Who said life is not complicated? That's why life does not end upon wedding. That's only the beginning of a journey. And when the marriage ends, life doesn't end with it. Again, it's a new beginning of yet another journey. Endless, of course. For this life is temporary. There's another destination that is final. It's called the Hereafter.
Meantime, do have some paradigm shift. And do mind about Qur'an & Sunnah. With that, I sign off for now. Thanks for still reading right till the end. Appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Love you all, Sayonara.
Nai @ TPJ.