You know, my mum has been staying with me almost 3 years now. Since my dad passed away. And not a day she stopped missing him. Last month she told me that she kept seeing him in her dreams, almost every night. That he came to express how he's been missing mum's company. She asked me if that was alright. I choked. But somehow I managed to sound casual when I said it's perfectly alright, in fact it's awesome, coz some people don't even have such honor to see their loved ones in dreams. I couldn't bear to know actually how bad she's missing dad. As much as I always miss him and occasionally dream of him, that's not even close to what she must have been going through. To be living without the love of her life.
She's been holding on because of her kids. Because of us.
But still, her heart's aching for him.
That breaks me to pieces.
She phoned me yesterday evening from downstairs, like she usually does coz she's not keen to mount the stairs due to her asthma. She asked me if I was busy and I said no, just about to pray Asar. Then she said would I care to come downstairs, she could do some massage, coz she felt funny and dizzy. I went downstairs and after a while, she was feeling better so I went upstairs. Seconds after hanging my clothes prayer I heard my sister-in-law's scream that I hurried downstairs. Mum was half lying on the floor, too tired to stand. Apparently she's been having diarrhea while I was gone upstairs. Too much dehydration. She was so adamant not to let me wash her. But she was too tired to even move an inch even though she collapsed just in front of the toilet. I shooed away my maid who wanted to clean the mess. I wanted to take the honor and did everything within my means for mum. So that she knew nothing I wouldn't do for her.
I called my sister who lives about 20 minutes drive from us, coz mum wanted her to lift her up, knowing that I didn't have such physical ability.
But God is Great.. I somehow managed to do just that with the help of my sis-in-law. I bathed mum and felt so scared to even cry. I could see she was letting go. She didn't give it a fight. Like, 'this is it.. it's time..'
Then she wanted to pray Maghrib. I brought her a bucket and helped her to take wudhu'. But the diarrhea attacked again, denying her wish to do so. At that juncture my husband came back from outside and my sister arrived. It was so heart-breaking to swallow when my sister went out to buy mum diapers, let alone seeing her wear them. My sister, always a hero, took charge to carry mum to the car with the help of my bro-in-law. Well, that's a bright side of having a bunch of people under the same roof, by the way. Mum was so quiet I had to force continuous chat with her throughout the drive to the hospital. I felt like shaking mum, please don't give up on us...! Even when she was lifted from the car onto the wheelchair, she was totally losing it.
Thank God our number was only one shy of the currently on board. Mum was given 2 tablets of aspirins for fever, a few others for diarrhea stoppage and a shot for energy. Then we had to wait which seemed like eternity before mum was called for further examination. She was detained at the temporary ward to refill the water she'd lost so much. She could be released only upon blood test result, should the same showed no cause of further detention.
Mum was much much better after 2 hours or so in the ward. I point blankly told her to stop wishing to rejoin with dad.. everybody shall go some day, no need to wish so bad for it.
That was at the eve of Mother's Day.
1.30am we reached home. Mum could walk on her own.
I slept so soundly and woke up listening to her voice at normal pitch.
|At Padang, Indonesia.. taken about a month before he was gone|
Dad must have been missing mum as much.
But we really need her here.
Happy Mother's Day everybody.